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Monday, July 10, 2017


Yes. For every time i walk past certain places where we have been where we have mentioned when i see things that we talked abt when things just remind me of him when everything just chants his name inside my head when every time i just want to share every piece of info w him then i realise hes nt thr and it's all unnecessary. Then i start to choose what are the things that i can say that he might be interested in what are the things i can share when he's nt showing interest blablabla. It's difficult. It is. Even more so when he told you that "i can feel that you're maintaining this". Like wow telling me straight in the face that I'm trying too hard? Idk. Shld i even be? Does it hurt him as much as it hurts me if we both are gone from each other's life? Does he want to be as involved in my life as much as i wish i can be a part of his? Idk anymore. Shld i be afraid to love? But to me, this is still mild. Im still nt overboard. I just wish that he knows that he's nt useless as how he always says he is & that yes thr is someone in this world who does care for him expecting nth much in return & that it's possible to be loved. Just that I'd hv to bear the weight & to love myself more since im nt receiving any from anyone. But i dont love myself more cuz im always trying to put him first. But he'll nvr know? Will he?